My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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