Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
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