Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
If I die, sorry about rent.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
