I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Enjoy the penises
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
