butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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