oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
