he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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