Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
can u get pink eye on your cock?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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