Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
