i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
