whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
