it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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