Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
How external is "for external use only"?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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