I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
