Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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