We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
