why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
What a dumb baby whore.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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