i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
