I think my vagina is haunted
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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