me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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