i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
