pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
All the doctor said was why
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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