apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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