CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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