No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I believe in your delicious
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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