SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just sucked dick on a ferry
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
