Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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