nut hugger
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
