I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
