Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
