So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
