Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
