so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
