you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
