I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
