Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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