hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
