he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
