i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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