Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
