I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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