i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
is that a dick in a sweater?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
