I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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