dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
