yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Randomize
