he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
