Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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