So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
