So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
