Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
