She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
